September 20, 2001

training but not working

Today I used a bunch of different machines in the gym, just because I've been
getting very very bored. Also, I keep thinking I need to do more for my abs and
back, because they're the foundation for almost every move the body makes. I
think. I was good though, and hardly dropped any of the stuff I've been doing. I
didn't do the high row, but since I did do lat pulldowns, bench pulls, and low
row, I don't think the muscles affected are missing out on much. I did skip the
last set of my biceps curls and upright rows, though. But I added triceps dips, as
well as several abs/back machines. I get bored easily, but fortunately, it takes
only trivial changes to make me un-bored.

Rudder came over on his way
out of the gym and asked me what erg piece I was going to do today (in addition to
my usual 1000-meter warm-up). I told him I might not do one, but if I did it would
be short, a hard 1 or 2K. He said, "But I thought you're doing longer pieces now
to train for the head races?" Well, I am, but not every stinkin' day. Some days
are supposed to be long and low, some hard and fast. Not only do I think that's a
better way to train, but there's that boredom factor again. I mean, it's like sex;
one way might be good, but you don't want to do the same thing every time. (Maybe
I should have used that analogy on Rudder.)

I almost skipped the gym
entirely this morning, because staying in bed was an extremely attractive option.
And we'll be camping again this weekend, so I won't be able to sleep in then. This
is the bad side of rowing with a steady crew; I can't slack off on my exercise,
because I have a responsibility to the other women in my boat. I may not be the
strongest or have the most endurance of us, but no way am I going to be the
reason we lose a race!

Rudder was actually fairly annoying, when he
was telling me what he thinks I should do. I've already had to tell him not to ask
me every single day if there's any news on the job front, because answering no day
after day gets depressing, and it feels to me like he's accusing me of not working
hard enough on getting a new job. This is, I'm sure, completely a figment of my
own imagination and guilt, rather than any intention on his part; he was actually
just trying to show concern. He does have an annoying tendency to tell me how I
should run my life (the same way he runs his, of course) but it's hard to tell
where the line is between him being preachy and me being

It hasn't escaped me that I may be overreacting to him
due to my feelings over still being at home. I do feel a little guilty about still
being out of work. Most of it is the economy, not me, and I do try to send out job
applications or scout available positions every single day. But it still feels
like I should have been able to find something by now. It's been over a month and
a half, and intellectually I know that's not much time. But guilt has no

Posted by dichroic at September 20, 2001 04:59 PM
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