Dichroic Reflections

a gratitude entry

Last night after the evening went very very badly, I redeemed it partially by
staying up until midnight (yes, me; yes, midnight) chatting with href="http://eilatan.net/journal">Natalie and SWWooP. That was good, because afterward I was too tired to be mad at Rudder, who had let me down in a way I can only remember him doing once before, in the last decade.

And all that elision is starting to sound like he was impotent and I'm being a bitch about it, so perhaps I should give more detail after all. His car is in the shop, so I had to pick him up from work; he was supposed to call me when he was ready. We had an appointment to get our taxes done at 7PM. Five o'clock, no Rudder call. Five forty-five, no call and I'm starting to get perturbed. I call Rudder repeatedly but can't get through. He has no cell phone or pager and wasn't in his office. I even tried calling his boss, who wasn't there either. At twenty til, I finally gave up and went alone -- fortunately we had all the tax papers organized in a folder, so that part was easy. He finally called me on my mobile phone about 15 minutes into the tax session, and was in his office henceforth (not able to leave until we picked him up, remember) so at least we were able to call him and ask questions about things like his stocks. We do those separately so I had no idea what he'd done. I was so furious afterward that I didn't even want to meekly go to bed beside him, so stayed up as late as I wanted for once and skipped the gym this morning.

Thanks go at this point to Caerula who let me chat and vent to her on IM back when I was getting worried before the tax session -- I attribute that venting to the fact that I was able not to yell at him when I did see him. I find yelling much more satisfactory, actually, but it's not terribly productive. People go on the defensive when yelled at and won't admit they're wrong or
apologize.

Thanks also to Natalieeeee and SWWooP because by the time we were done chatting I was too tired to hold a grudge or sleep on the sofa.

I really wanted to write about John Glenn today, so I'm going to go ahead and do that in another entry, but I wanted to give thanks where due, and they don't make sense without the explanation. But I'd rather write about outer space than in-home arguments.