August 07, 2002

not old...just mature

I'm not sure whether I feel old today, or just grown up.

I've just
started growing my hair out, and right now it looks as short as it did but is just
a bit pouffier -- sort of the way my mother-in-law's looks when she's had it set
for a special occasion. In my case it's the result not of a blow-dryer but of the
natural curl. The main challenge is to keep bits from sticking out in odd
directions. However, because it's a little longer more of the gray strands end up
in front where I can see them. Denial of gray is one side benefit of very short
hair. Suddenly I find myself wondering if maybe I have morphed into a short-haired
person by temperament, after all.

I'm dressed like a grown-up today
too, because I have an interview (at this company; they're looking for people to
train for an internal program). I'm wearing a little black dress I always forget I
have, in a very plain sheath cut with a round neck and princess seaming. Somehow
it manages to make me look round and curvy in all the right places even though
it's closely fitted, so I look corporate, but I look like a hot corporate babe.
(At least in my own mind.) The high heels help, and show off the definition in my
calves. (Calves are about the easiest things to get in shape. Almost everyone has
good calves, except those who are extremely stick-thin.) The only problem with
the dress is that, like many of my clothes, it blouses out too much in back when I
stand up straight. I think they expect the front to be a bit better-filled, as if
there were many busty women who wear size 4. Clothes designers clearly live in
fantasy worlds. At least the dress looks good from the front, and at least it fits
-- I think there was one point a few years ago when it was too tight. Now it's
just tight across the shoulders.

I wonder if my age is also
responsible for how long this cold or whatever is hanging on. The thing about
being 35 is that you can do still anything you ever could, but it hurts more when
you stop. When I was in my early twenties, I played Ultimate Frisbee, on a team
where lots of the other people were in their early to mid-thirties. They could all
outrun and outplay me on the field (I'm not good at traditional ball sports and
Ulttimate uses the same sort of skills). Afterward, though, we'd go out for food
and beer, and there would be much groaning as they stood up after sitting still
for an hour right after strenuous exercise. I could bounce right up without a
twinge -- that was my first glimpse of my future. Now I can sit in any odd
position at my desk, and often do, but I limp for a bit after uncurling myself. I
don't notice problems after sitting still post-rowing, but mostly I go straight
off to the showers -- and I'm often so wiped afterwards I don't notice any
gradations in the pain. I wonder if that loss of the ability to bounce back is
responsible for my lingering phlegm issues. At least I erged a little this

Another symptom of aging is loss of memory. I'm pretty sure
there were other related issues I wanted to mention..............

Posted by dichroic at August 7, 2002 04:59 PM
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