I actually spend time at two different gyms, or rather two branches of the same
gym chain. At the one near my home, on Wednesdays, I erg and lift weights and
stretch out abused body parts. Afterwards, I can usually count on interesting or
at least friendly and non-irritating conversation in the locker room, in the
primping area. (There's plenty of time for this; at either gym I can walk in,
notice a couple of people blow-drying their hair, shower, dry off, dress, slap
some glop on my face and different glop in my hair, and say goodbye to those same
people, still fluffing away.) The other one is closer to the lake; ostensibly I go
there not to work out but to shower after rowing.
The extra benefit
to this gym is that while I don't build muscles there, I do get frequent chances
to exercise my tact (which needs it). Tuesday, one woman was talking about having
had LASIK. I mentioned that I was interested, but hesitant because they tell me
I'll eventually have to wear reading glasses even if I have the surgery, and if I
have to wear glasses, why not just wear normal prescription ones and skip the
surgery? She said, "Well, yeah, but how often do you read???" I promise
you, I did not answer her with the question, "What kind of fucking illiterate are
you?" though I think my jaw dropped and it may have been obvious I was thinking
it. She then said, "Well, you're not reading now, are you? Well, no, I
wasn't, having just gotten out of the shower -- but if I'd been at home, I would
have been. I'm reading now, I read for work and for pleasure, I read when I eat, I
listen to books while I drive, and I'd read while I was sleeping if I could keep
my eyes open. I don't expect everyone to do the same, but surely it shouldn't
actually surprise anyone that some people might spend a great deal of time staring
at printed or phosphor words.
This morning, I stood in one of the
open shower cubicles, and glimpsed another one of the regulars across from me.
This one happens to have had breast augmentation (her dad paid for it, which
somehow strikes me as bizarre) and she had an amount put in that I wouldn't have
thought any reputable surgeon would inject. Waaayy out of proportion, the sort of
thing some women have surgery to reduce. This time I had to bite my tongue to keep
from saying, "You paid to make those like that? Why?"
Yup, any
second now I'll be ready for polite society.