April 29, 2001

How to go like a guy

noon-ish 2001-04-29 freshette.html
How to go like a guy

Mechaiehís mention of the Sani-Fem Freshette has inspired me to list my tips for those using the product. Iíve had one for years, and find them extremely useful. For those whoíve never heard of Freshettes, first of all, if youíre male, you can stop reading now; you donít need one. Functional definition: itís a female-to-male adapter for humans engaged in bladder relief. More precisely, itís a funky-shaped pink funnel with its own carrying case. They are extremely useful for those of us who hike/mountain bike/rock climb in areas where the vegetation doesnít provide much cover; theyíre also useful in areas where there are more civilized facilities but you donít want to come in any contact whatsoever with them.

The following tips are not for the squeamish, as I will be blunt.

1. First of all, and I wouldnít even think of writing this one if I hadnít seen someone who obviously needed the advice, as a matter of etiquette, get off the trail! Yes, if youíre careful, you can use these things with almost no exposure. However, no one wants to walk through a yellow stream. A related bit of ecological responsibility is to carry zip-lock bags for used paper -- donít just leave it out there!

2. They work better with loose or stretchy pants/shorts, or a long fly. Otherwise, you may need to drop trou after all, which negates some of the main reasons for using the Freshette. (This also makes it easier to ply a bit of tissue afterwards, though apparently, according to the review Mechaieh linked to, some people donít. I do, not liking tell-tale spots on my short.

3. Something all men know: never face into the wind. Also, if you like your shoes, aim for a bit of ground downslope from your feet.

4. A major diasadvantage of Freshettes is that if you use one in a Porta-potty, they leave you facing into the pot. Not too bad in the daytime, when the lower reservoir is in shadow, but potentially disgusting at night, if you, like I, use a headlamp while camping. Adjust the light beam so it points upward a bit, not down.

5. Keep a spare in your car. You just never know.....

Posted by dichroic at April 29, 2001 12:31 PM
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