life lessons from the comic pages

The Sunday comics were good this week. First, there’s a perfect illustration of my definition of marriage in 9 Chickweed Place. As far as I’m concerned, Edda and Amos already are married; any ceremony they choose to have is gravy. (Given who’s speaking, I’m fairly sure they will choose to have one eventually. But I think they do have a fairly good shot at growing old together.)

And then there’s this in Doonesbury. How to help a woman begin to heal from sexual assult: take her seriously as a very competent human. (Especially in this case, where she was assaulted by a superior officer, ruining her career and depriving her unit of a very skilled mechanic.)

Last night was a bit rough; after I went to bed I realized that it was the first time I’d slept alone at home since we gave the cat away, which means the first night I’ve stayed completely alone at home since about early April of 1989. It’s probably a fairly sad commentary that my initial result was to get up and blog about it to LJ (because there’s more community and commentary there than here). Getting a few comments back did help, and so did putting on a long flannel nightgown. (If you can’t snuggle up to a warm fuzzy, the next best thing is to be one.) I slept extremely well until woken up at 4AM by a mosquito buzzing around.

I brought in brownies this morning, having finally found a mix. A coworker just asked for the recipe. It actually took some time to explain “Buy mix. Add eggs, oil, and water per directions. Bake, also as per directions.” His wife is an excellent cook – I know because he brought in some homemade pickles, much like kim chi – but I think baking is just not a normal part of local cuisine.

And there’s only one problem with the hairstyle I posed yesterday: I leave the house each morning with my hair still wet. I don’t really like putting it up wet; it stays better but doesn’t dry with as much volume, and it’s the softer look I like about the style. It’s mostly dry by the time I get to work, even here, one advantage to fine hair with enough curl to separate itself; maybe one day I’ll bring a ponytail band and a few bobby pins and just put it up at work.

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4 Responses to life lessons from the comic pages

  1. Sarah HB says:

    Hope you continue to sleep will alone. It does take getting used to….

    I did like your hair yesterday. I can see how putting it up wet would not work too well.

  2. Mris says:

    You know what one of *my* definitions of a marriage that matters is? Not leaving your partner of 40 years high and dry because you couldn’t be bothered with little legal niceties such as getting her name on the house she’d been helping make payments on, so that when the paramedics took your body away, they were legally required to make her leave her own home with only an overnight bag containing items that were either incredibly cheap or visibly geared to a person of her gender and size. Part of *my* definition of a marriage that matters is realizing that “eventually” can happen any day, and that you don’t want important decisions made by some random second cousin you haven’t seen in 20 years just because you were too free a spirit to find yourself a lawyer.

    I know that not every family has every available benefit of marriage in a form they can approximate with the help of a lawyer. Heaven knows I know *that*. But after what happened to a family friend last month, I am not even slightly in the mood to romanticize people *choosing* to forego the protections they could give their loved ones because the bonds of sweaty passion seemed more important than whether the person they supposedly love would have a place to live after they died or whether she would have to spend her grieving hours trying to prove which of her most cherished possessions she had actually directly purchased because they were in a house that legally belonged to someone else, and that someone else had just died intestate.

  3. l'empress says:

    I thought that “Doonesbury” was amazing, especially compassion displayed by B.D. (B.D.!!?) It’s the kind of reason I still read that strip.

    [Aside to Mris: The definition of marriage — I’ve defined it in many ways, but primarily it is “we took care of each other.” After forty years, despite the difficulties and my complaining of them, I’m *still* taking care of him.]

  4. Jessie says:

    I have been blown away by the last few years of B.D. in particular, I think it’s the best work Trudeau has ever done. Yesterday’s was so good.

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