copeless

This is expanded from a comment I wrote elsewhere, because as usual other people’s writings were needed to prompt me to realize what’s going on with me.

Today for at least the third week in a row, Ted and I have been bad and skipped two workout days in a row (one planned day off, one “can’t face this, set the alarm later” day). He’s grossly overworked, and I’m running out of cope myself; reporting to not one but two company VPs with sometimes conflicting goals, preparing for an international move that’s coming up very fast and not one but two other intercontinental trips before then…. (one of which I still need to write a trip request for). It’s getting to that point where 6AM workouts just feel like yet another burden and I’m rapidly running out of cope.

Another reason we’re so tired, though, is because we skipped two days in a row last week, then as a result worked out four days in a row. One thing we’re both finding as we get older is that age doesn’t necessarily mean less intense workouts, but it does mean more need to recover. Those four workouts in a row are also what made us too tired to have any fun last weekend, which is a ridiculous waste. So right now, just for the moment, I’m giving myself permission to go easy on me when I need it. I will need to give myself another day off after a couple on, just to break that vicious cycle.

I’m not all that happy with the shape I’m in at the moment (notable pudge around the middle, too many clothes not fitting, erg distance is feeling very long again) but I’m hoping that geting back in shape will happen more or less naturally after I move: more walking, getting back on actual water, food that seems to suit my body better.

I also haven’t been writing any poetry lately, and I’m not going to try to force it; since that sort of writing is not the main thing or one of the major things I do I don’t want to make it into a ‘should’ or another burden – that seems like a bad idea for me. I don’t think I have the brainwidth to be creative at the moment – I’m knitting, but that’s following a pattern. (The next project will be creating my own pattern, but that’s working out a simple idea I had long ago.) Whatever, if something is supposed to be for fun and doesn’t sound enjoyable just now, I’m not going to foist it on myself.

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1 Response to copeless

  1. LA says:

    Bravo! Not killing my bod or enthusiasm is why I am trying to figure out where that good place is between making the weight training worthwhile in terms of physical results and not such an ouchie chore that I dread it.

    As for the more aerobic stuff, yeah, I still dance when I cook and houseclean. It just hasn’t been very ‘Footloose’ of late. Something else I’m trying to fix by choosing better music. Still waiting for my iPod and iTunes set-up. Then she shall have bells on her fingers and rings on her toes. ~LA

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