My husband and cats are still at the lake (because when you’ve worked at the same company for 19 years you get more vacation time, and when you’re a pampered housecat you get All The Benefits – unlimited time off, healthcare, food, housing…). Not sure the cats really enjoy the lake views, but they do like watching all the birds around there, as well as having more room to run.

Meanwhile I am at work, and the weather is absolutely gorgeous. Hence the pouting. (Also, I’m working on a very boring task just at this moment, and I don’t have a window.)

So now I just need to decide if I want to join them all at the lake this weekend. There’s only one thing against it: the drive there and back, solo again. There are lots of reasons for it: getting out on the water again (though Saturday is apparently going to be cloudy); time with Ted (though if I don’t come down, he might come back a little early); helping to load up the cats for the trip back (no fun, but necessary), getting to see the very nice outdoor table and chairs we bought last week that were delivered today. That one reason against it translates to 5-6 hours driving in exchange for < 48 hours there, though (same as any other time we head down for a weekend, but at least usually we can keep each other company. for the driving itself, of course I don't really want to do it, but then it would be that many more highway hours between me and that incident in Taiwan, or that many practice hours for my eyes and brain to work together, however you choose to see it. I was looking at it in the most morbid way, earlier: which would I regret more, if I went and died in a highway fatality or if I didn't go - and Ted was the one in the bad accident? The answer to that is surprisingly easy: I'd feel much better about trying and failing (though my last thoughts would probably be "told you so") than I would about missing those last moments with him. Fortunately both of those outcomes are phenomenally unlikely, but I did just come up with another way to think about: if I go, I will regret it for the last hour or so of the drive each way (or maybe even only on the way back, like last weekend). If I don't go, how long will I regret it? But the other way around is, if I don't go, we're likelier to go next weekend, whereas if I do go we might not. Sigh. Really, I'm OK at the big decisions - it's the small ones that kill me.