For some reason my computer doesn’t want to access this site right now. Phone typing is slow. Oh well.

Ted heads off to the Netherlands today so I’m on my own for the weekend. I’m dithering over whether to go to the lake house or stay home and attend Portland Pride on Sunday. Either way I’d be doing something – either the long solo drive or dealing with the heat and crowds at Pride.

Consideration for the house: if I can leave work at noon, I’d need to go home change, pack clothes and food and put out extra food and water, for the cats, (say, half an hour), get gas, and drive down. It would be 2.5 or maybe even over 3 hours with Friday afternoon traffic. It would be exciting to go – they’ve gotten the siding on, exterior painting started, insulation being put in. If all goes well, they will be dry-walling next week. It might be useful if I can take photos of the wiring before they cover it, though it all the insulation is in it might be too late already. I’ve been more comfortable driving on local highways lately and it would be good for me to do a bit more distance driving, even if it still makes me uncomfortable. And I can row, or kayak or both. Also, we forgot to put up the barriers against geese last time we left!

Arguing against the solo road trip, we’ll be there next weekend anyway, and the weekend after (and all July 4 week) so I would just be seeing this all a week later (except the wiring won’t be visible). Also, getting my boat out is not that easy, since it’s sitting in front of the house and I’d have to take it all the way around, without hitting a tree on the way. And I’d be the one stuck washing goose poop off the dock, all on my own. The other big thing is that I haven’t planned meals, though I do have enough food, and most of all, it would mean I’d be pretty much all alone all weekend. If the drive down sucks and is anxiety making, I’d still have to drive back, with no other options.

Consideration for going to Pride: it should be fun. I can offer support for people I want to support. I can even be part of it instead of just a spectator: I can march in the parade with my company’s contingent. The weather is supposed to be perfect – sunny and 81F. I’ve never been to Pride, or much of any activist parade, and I feel like kind of a slacker.

Against it: not going to the house. Dealing with what might be overwhelming crowds and the inevitable lack of enough toilets. It might still be uncomfortably hot if the forecast isn’t right – it hit the high 90s a few days ago. Also, as a cishet ally, is it better to go and show support, or to stay away and leave the LGBTQ+ community to celebrate on its own? (And yes, I totally am making this decision all about me, but in my head and in my blog I think that’s reasonable. If I go to the parade, I will not expect cookies, I promise – or rather, I kind of will, at least in my own head, for stepping out of my own comfort zone re crowds etc, but not because it’s Pride specifically.)

I don’t know, but I have about 2 hours to decide.