Yeah, that was a bit whiny. I keep thinking of the old woman in a story by L.M. Montgomery who had resolved that her birthday should always be a happy day for other people. And also of the DUtch tradition and its implications: instead of relying on other people to celebrate, you bring in the treats for your own birthday, which strikes me as infinitely more sensible. That way no one gets hurt by having a birthday ignored when they want to celebrate, or conversely having people celebrate when they’d rather not.
So what can I do?
Well, some of it I’ve already done: I got myself something I do need, can fit in my pack going home, and wouldn’t normally splurge on. I have planned a fun outing for Saturday and rowing for Sunday. Around Thursday I can order the pie, and it will be delivered to the office on Monday. I can send my MIL a nice note, because she’ll be hurting; her mother’s birthday was the day before mine, and her mom died somewhere around this time last year. I could invite my Taiwanese colleagues who are here out to dinner but I’m reluctant to after they flaked out on dinner last Friday because the midrange restaurant was “too expensive”. (We’re on per diems, and the price was well within that.) I could go to This entry was posted in daily updates. Bookmark the permalink.
Interesting that you mention that Dutch tradition – we just had a HUGE argument here at work about how to celebrate birthdays in my department.
That’s why I like it so much. In the US way of doing things, it always turns out they celebrate someone else’s birthday and not yours and your feelings are hurt. Or they celebrate your birthday and you don’t want either the attention or the publicity and your feelings are hurt. Or the department next door has big blowouts for everyone’s birthday and yours does nothing and you always feel a little wistful. Or they have a celebration once a month for everyone whose birthdays fall within that month, which does avoid hurt feelings but always feels impersonal.