I think sometimes it helps, being a girl. Back in my days of volunteering at the Philadelphia Folk Festival, it turned out that I was very good at being festival security. I needed a big guy for backup, of course, but the point is that I never did have to call on him. When I walked up to a happy drunk guy, all 5’2″ and tangled brown hair of me, and say in a small voice, “Excuse me, but we have to keep a fire lane clear. Could you please move back a little?” they moved. (It probably didn’t hurt that I was about nineteen.) Granted that the PFF is not exactly a hotbed of rowdy behavior, but I bet it would have worked just as well at a rowdy country music show in Texas – I just don’t arouse defensive instincts at first glance, at least not from people who don’t know me.
I had a meeting today with my VP, my first. It went better than expected, and I think some of the same factors were working for me. It’s unconscious instincts, not any obvious prejudice – for one thing, one of this man’s predecesssors in the job was a woman not much bigger than me. She’s still with the company, and I’m far from the only person here who finds her scary. But I’m small, I’m female, and I’m a couple of levels junior to him, and it was our first meeting, so he didn’t come in with guns blazing. Also, someone else had previously talked to him about what I’ll be doing, so he had time to get over any resistance to a new idea. The other reason I’m sure that, if I’m right it’s only [lack of] unconscious instincts of defense, and not any other idea about women, is because those tend to come with dismissiveness but he actually listened to what I had to say. So that was good, and now I have some support promised where it counts.
Now all I have to do is be extremely effective. Eep!