Happy July 4! 236 years for the US, 19 for us

It still feels wrong to be at work on July 4. Also, we did a brilliant thing in getting married on a day we’d always have off from work, then we had to ruin it by moving abroad! (We were married 19 years ago today. Hopefully we can celebrate our 20th by taking the whole year off.)

A couple of things that fascinate me:

1. My previous post about beauty “maintenance” activites got an unusually high number of responses, by my standards. At first I thought people didn’t understand the point I was making, that anything you choose to do is fine but I object to having hair dying, for instance, regarded as mandatory for all aging women, but then later commenters made it clear that wasn’t the case. So I think it was just that commenters really enjoy talking about the things – hair dye, massage, pedicures, whatever – that they enjoy or have found helpful. Similarly, a recent post i a Ravelry feminist community about whether women carry a purse got over a hundred responses in a few weeks.

It’s a pretty feminist bunch around here, too. I think it’s just that it’s easy to get wrapped up in talking about Srs Topix, but a lot of us enjoy clothes or shoes or the look (and massage!) of pedicures.

I can think of a couple of explanations for why those topics get an enthusiastic repsonse: First, duh, they’re fun. Second, I think it’s sometimes a bit of a relief to when we “get” to talk about that stuff. I’ve noticed, over my years in mostly male work environments, that on the rare occasions that a few women happen to get into a discussion of more than a few minutes with no guys around, very female topics like menstruation come up a fairly high percentage of the time. It’s almost like “Whew, I can finally talk about this stuff!” I mean, it gets discussed in mostly-female environments too, of course, but in my experience at a lower percentage of discussion.

2. The Puritans have a lot to answer for; I think we need to quit equating rigor and pain with virtue. There’s the bit about working massive overtime being seen as a sign of dedication (instead of inefficient planning on the part of someone, though often not the worker), and the bit about fat people being seen as morally lax (because they must be enjoying their food! and not practicing discipline! louche sybarites that they are!). And for women, there’s the bit where all the haircare/pedicure/massage stuff I talk about above is seen as simultaneously a mandatory thing and an unwarranted indulgence. Perhaps we’re supposed to do it but not enjoy it. Another part of the reason we may like talking about that stuff is that for feminists, it’s a deliciously subversive idea that we don’t have to feel guilty about enjoying a bit of pampering now and then.

On a totally different topic, I feel that the tiny fashion triumph of realizing that my fingerless gloves perfectly matched my outfit(1) was negated by realizing that I put my t-shirt on inside-out this morning Fortunately I noticed before anyone else did!

(1) It’s cold in my office so I keep two pair on hand, both knitted by me: a pair in the Fetching pattern in dusty blue, and a pair in my own pattern in a brown-and-pink self-striping yarn. Today I am wearing brown trousers, a fine-knit white T, and a hot pink cardigan.