Dad update

They moved him to hospice / palliative care yesterday. Thank God, the independent-living community my mom is planning to move to had an opening for him in one of their palliative-care rooms. I think trying to do hospice at home would have been an untenable burden on Mom (two-story rowhouse, only bathroom is upstairs – and he can’t move one leg). Of course my brother and SIL would have helped as much as they could, but they have to be at work all day. I will visit in a few weeks – I was going to go sooner, but it turns out my brother and SIL (who work together) have a business trip they can’t get out of, so I’ll go be supportive while they’re gone. I’ll have to go back again, whenever …. afterward, but Ted will go with me that time. It turns out the state of Oregon has family leave policies that are much better than the FMLA, so I should be able to use some of that leave. It applies after you’ve worked for a company for six months – I couldn’t have used FMLA< because that requires a year and I haven't worked here that long. Also, they offer up to two weeks (unpaid) leave for bereavement, which is a huge relief when you have to travel across the country. I am really pleased that Mom is still planning on selling the house and moving to the independent-care place, even though it will be just her. She's a bit worried about being too young for it (they take people from a full ten years younger than she is, but of course there aren't many of those unless they're ill). There are a lot of good reasons for her to move, though. For one, the neighborhood is going downhill; there were two shootings on the next block a month ago, and her car got broken into last year. For another, she hates being there alone. She gets lonely, and none of the old neighbors (the ones who were there the whole time I was growing up) are there anymore. The older ones have died and their kids moved away; the last one (someone my age who bought her parents' home) moved a few years ago. There are still a couple of newer neighbors Mom likes and talks to, but it's not the support system it was (there's a reason I was allowed to babysit for my brother from the time I was 11, during our parents' occasional nights out). Mom is a very social person; she likes planned activities and people around her. She also worries about what would happen if something was wrong with her - she's in good health, but she's had a few issues (broke an ankle a few years back, for instance). This new place will provide lots of activities - she can even have a garden plot if she wants. Three will be carers nearby if needed; everyone gets an "I've fallen and I can't get up" bracelet. She'll have people to eat with, and won't have to cook but has a kitchen if she does want to. I think it will be very good for her, and now he won't need to worry about whether she can get in later when her health does require it. The other thing she likes, for now, is that Dad's hospice room is in the same complex where her apartment will be. She can stop by anytime, leave if he's sleeping, ask the nurse to call her when he wakes up, and go back.