I do not like the club of Sam. (1)
I do not need large cans of Spam.
I don't need yogurt in a box; (2)
I do not buy prepackaged lox. (3)
I do not think it saves me cash
To buy a giant TP stash. (4)
There was bad music in the air;
I found no bargains anywhere.
I do not like the club of Sam,
I am disgusted. Yes, I am. (5)
(1) Sam's Club was founded by Sam Walton, also the proprietor of Wal-Mart. You must buy a membership, which enables you to enter the warehouse-style store and buy vast quantities of things you probably won't use. They don't usually have many brands of each thing, so if you have a particular favorite brand, you are probably out of luck.
(2) The box contained about 24 small containers of yogurt. Actually, I would have bought some, if they'd had the fruit-on-the-bottom kind I like.
(3) Salty smoked salmon, properly served on bagels.
(4) toilet paper, aka loo paper. Sold only in 30-roll packages.
(5) The whole experience would have been less unpleasant if I hadn't ended up spending a large sum of money for a comparative few items. I think I do better at a normal supermarket. If you're wondering, we have a Sam's Club membership because it's the only place we can buy 5 gallon containers of peanut oil, which we use when we deep-fry turkeys. (Very yummy and not at all greasy.)