A little remarked joy of middle age:

Your friends understand the concept of RSVP, and let you know if they’re coming in time to figure out how much food you have to buy.

In related news, we are hosting the fourth more-or-less annual Black Sheep Knitting Retreat the weekend after next, which should be a lot of fun even though the Black Sheep Festival has moved away from Eugene, so we will just be hanging out at the house (unless of course people want to visit the Animal House weekend in nearby Cresswell, celebrating the fortieth anniversary of the movie there where much of it was filmed). Knitting, companionship, wine, hanging out, kayaking for those interested – should be fun.  

This weekend should be even more fun, as were flying to California for my GFIL’s hundredth birthday. It will be odd, being social two weekends in a row.

The other thing I’m currently enjoying is Anne Fadiman’s biography of her father, The Wine-Lover’s Daughter. As a fan of Clifton Fadiman, Anne Fadiman, and wine, it’s completely up my alley, though I do feel sorry for Anne, who apparently has never managed to enjoy wine as much as she’d like to.  At least she is totally qualified to participate in her father’s equal passion for books; his New Lifetime Reading Plan is an achievement, but her Ex Libris is a love letter and a friend to any bibliophile. Friends on the shelf (or Kindle) I are not the worst sort of friend.

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non-ultralight packing

I still don’t understand the whole ultralight packing thing. (It’s annoying mostly because people who are into that are often so self-righteous about it.) Like, I’m traveling for a three-day weekend, so it should be super-easy to pack carry-on only, right? I’m a small-ish person and it’s summer, so clothing is tiny. But here’s what I need: an outfit for Friday daytime, Friday night dinner, Saturday at a waterpark, and a formal-ish dinner Saturday night. Currently I have three dresses and a t-shirt/shorts, plus a bathing suit. Plus shorts/tank to sleep in. Not going to wear a bikini because 51 years old and not feeling like I want to show off every bit of jiggle (I have seen bigger people than me rock a bikini, but the way I’m proportioned means it’s not the most flattering for me – instead, a longer top and quick-dry shorts make me look athletic). Plus I would like to have dressier shoes for Saturday night, and it would have been nice to have one pair of casual shoes that look nice with a dress as well as shoes for the waterpark. I may combine the latter two, though it would mean wearing leather Keens to the waterpark. In an ideal world I would also take my work laptop / charger so I could work some to make up for leaving early Thursday, but I probably won’t unless I want to take a larger backpack for my plus-one bag. This is a 100th birthday party, so the whole family is there plus a new baby (5 generations) so camera gear is non-negotiable; between us we will probably take an SLR with a couple of lenses and a Go-Pro, plus of course my phone. And I need a cardigan for the plane / over-airconditioned spaces, plus a kindle and iPad and their chargers, plus my knitting.

I think the ultralight packers’ advice would be to wear only one outfit Friday (I’ll be in Sacramento and it will be around 100 degrees F – I expect to sweat). Granted, I could probably find dressy flats that would be lighter than the wedge heels I’m packing. But do these people not get cold on planes? Or sweat and want clean clothes? Or read enough to want a non-backlit device? Or work on weekends? Or take good pictures of special occasions? Or need lots of sunscreen and not have an easy way to get to a store? It also ticks me off that the advice tends to assume that anyone who travels a lot will of course be in the carryon-only brigade. Anyone who reads this knows that I have traveled a lot; it’s mostly convinced me that I usually appreciate having choices and a change of clothing available.

Currently I have a messenger bag plus a carry-on-sized suitcase, but I still might need to take more of the camera gear, that would drive a larger bag. Ted doesn’t even try to pack light, so we may end up having to visit the bag check anyway; it would at least make packing sunscreen easier.

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Clockwork and cat

Today’s odd experience: Just outside the work cafeteria, they often have a table with vendors selling something and offering samples – local honey, local chocolatiers, new energy drinks, and so on. Today they had someone offering samples of a product billed as “a meal in a bottle”. It’s call Soylent. I did not take a sample.

The other thing I wish I’d been blogging about is Oolong, our cat with chronic rhinitis. All spring she was a complete snot factory – I mean, it was fairly disgusting – and now for the last month or more you wouldn’t know there was anything wrong with her. Around here, the tradition is that July 4 is when summer begins; any time after that you can plan outside activities without worrying about getting rained out. I’d like to know if her symptoms abated round then, which could be due to sinus stuff from pressure changes, or early, so I could check how well they track with pollen count. Anyway, she’s a fairly cuddly cat, who unlike her sister doesn’t claw or bite, and I am enjoying being able to snuggle her without a high risk of getting sneezed on with extreme mucus-ness.

With her sister Macchiato, the challenge is more about how to convince her that love-bites are not the best way to show affection to the furless members of your family.

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a quick post, with good intentions

I think maybe I need to get back in the habit of daily posts, or at least multiple times a week, even if they are short entries. For one thing, my right wrist has been bothering me and it’s irritating not to ba able to check back entries and see when this started. I know it was a problem during our vacation, but don’t remember if it happened before that.

Speaking of vacations, things have been happening and I need to write about them! We had a gorgeous 11-day cruise on a sailing ship in French Polynesia, to islands like Ranigora, Bora Bora, Tahiti and Moorea, and we have amazing photos I need to do a long post about that, including how wonderful the ship’s crew were (and how I wasn’t that imporessed is the booking office, on land). That might all go into the other more public blog (which has been suffering even more from attrition) but I will link it here.

On the way back I was able to do my Global Entry interview, so now when I travel I can go into the TSA Pre-Check line – yay! THis will be good becauswe we do have another flight this month – we’ll be traveling to California for a weekend to attend Ted’s grandfather’s 100th birthday party. (I enjoy his family, so am looking forward to this.)

Work was extremely busy for several weeks there but seems to be a little calmer now. My manager has moved on and as part of the resulting reorgs, they seem to want me to take a more senior role in the group now. We will see how this really materializes, though. (It’s a chain reaction, with every change having to depend on some other change happening.)

Meanwhile, knitting has been happening, and rowing – we went to the lake house both of the last two weekends. We might go again this weekend – when we were away for a month due to the Polynesia trip, all our blueberries withered. Deep watering has fixed that, but they’re not ripe yet and with the family trip coming up in a couple of weeks we don’t want to leave them for too long. Right after that we’ve having a knitting retreat, and I’d like to be able to have fresh blueberries to offer! If they won’t wither on the bush, we’ll have a bumper crop this year.

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measurement systems evaluation

So…. my blood pressure was 177/88 last Friday, 122/80 Monday, 144/82 today. I believe I have identified one component of the variation (other than the obvious one, that work in general seems to raise my BP).

I realized today that since with their system they have to read the numbers off a big round analog dial,
It looks like the humans who take the measurements are biased toward double numbers. With as fast as the needle moves, I doubt there’s much visible difference between, say, 144 or 145.

This is what happens when you send someone whose whole job is based around data and evidence to see the doctor!

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followup

That blood pressure that was 177/88 Friday …. was 122/80 today. I self-prescribe more time on the water! (Or possibly more Ted time – he was sleeping in the spare room all last week, until the weekend, due to a sinus infection and lots of coughing.)

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grumpy Monday

Last week at my dermatologist checkup, my blood pressure was higher than I’ve seen it for a while. Also, I had a mild headache or felt on the verge of one all week. So I dropped into the clinic at work (I love having a clinic at work!) and asked them to take my BP …. and it was another 20 points higher, 177/88. That is, apparently, not high enough to cause your brain to spontaneously explode, but it’s still scary high for me. I dithered a bit about whether to go to my primary care doctor (which would have to wait til Monday at least) or see one at the work clinic. I decided on the latter because I could be seen the same day, and also because I’ve only seen my PCP once (the previous one left that practice) and I’ve need the Nurse Practitioner at work once also, and liked her better. So now I will be going back on blood pressure meds, but first I have to go to the lab this morning to get my kidney function and electrolytes checked. This means I can’t eat anything or even have sugar in my tea until 9:15 this morning (my workday starts at 7).

The other bad thing that happened Friday is that I drove my car home with the sunroof open, then when I went to close it, it THUNKED loudly and refused to close all the way. So I also have an appointment with the mechanic this afternoon.

Couple all that with a potential issue at work that will need either lots of escalation or a creative way to avert it, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to be lowering my BP.

Well, actually, I do know how I need to lower my BP; I suspect a relatively small weight loss, 5-10 pounds, might have a big effect. Apparently, the thyroid meds I take only because the numbers in a blood test were high and not because of any actual symptoms can also raise BP. (There have been a bunch of articles on how thyroid meds are widely overprescribed – here’s a sample.) So I think I’m going to go off the Levothyroxin, and we’re going to try to eat smaller portions at dinner, having realized that we do eat more than we used to (because we cook better!).

Here’s hoping the car issue is easily fixed.

On the plus side, we finally had good weather on a weekend when we were both home and not sick so we finally got on the water! This is the first time in months, whereas usually we row almost all year round. I rowed one lap around the lake Saturday and it was glorious, though did abstain from kayaking Sunday because it was extremely windy. (I think I should have gone – from what we saw on the way home, the water wasn’t too bad. Oh well.

This day is not starting off well, but at least the weather is still beautiful – a good thing, since I can’t close my car’s roof!! Hopefully I can sustain the glow from the weekend a bit longer.

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Soft pretzels

Back history:
My first foray into soft pretzel making was with a Collective Kitchen class, from a baker who learned to make them actually in Bavaria. His recipe was similar to the NYT’s, below, but started with a pate fermentee, a bit of dough made in advance and allowed to sit overnight before being added to the rest of the dough. I learned a lot there, including how to shape Bavarian style pretzels (I learned how to shape Philadelphia-style ones on a Girl Scout trip years ago) and why pretzels need to include malt syrup and be dipped in lye. Thus, when I decided to try soft pretzels on my own, I looked for recipes with both the malt and the lye included. (Amazon sells both malt syrup and food-grade lye.) In the class, we made and shaped out own, but since the dough needs to sit and rise a while, the ones we actually dipped in lye, baked and ate were from a batch he’d previously prepared. Liking pretzels and not wanting to waste the dough, I brought my batch home. I didn’t have lye, so I dipped those in a baking soda solution, verifying that does work. I also learned through experiment that if you freeze pretzels, then wet them, apply salt, microwave 30 seconds then bake 5 minutes at 425, they reheat perfectly and taste fresh.

I’d also gotten to taste real Philadelphia pretzels again recently, thanks to an extremely thoughtful birthday gift from my friend Peg. (This turned out to be lucky, too, because they included enough extra real pretzel salt to use for both batches.

Recipe 1: Reluctant Gourmet “Best Soft Pretzels”
This recipe actually calls for a dip in baking soda, but I used lye since I had it. (1/2 cup to 10 cups of water, as recommended in the NYT recipe). It tells you to put the pretzels in the freezer to firm them up, but I have a side by side fridge that is too narrow for a cooking sheet, so I put them in the fridge for maybe 45 minutes instead. They stayed firm enough to be easy to handle in their lye bath. The recipe calls for an egg wash after the lye bath, but I skipped that; neither the recipe from my class nor the NYT used it, and I don’t think Philly pretzels have it (an egg wash is what produces that very firm glossy crust on Challah).

Recipe 2: New York Times Bavarian-style pretzels
The his made a very stiff dough; the mixer (Kitchen Aid Professional line, but the Costco version) had some trouble handling it and was sending up smoke, so I finished kneading by hand. Then I realized I’d screwed up and forgotten to add the malt syrup. I didn’t want to waste the batch, so I added it in and kneaded some more (it did soften the dough a bit). I was afraid that not feeding the yeast from the beginning wouldn’t let the dough rise enough, but thought it was better to experiment, because I didn’t want to start over. I let this batch sit in the refrigerator overnight; one result of this was that they did most of their rising there, while the other batch rose more in the oven.

Differences between recipes
The Reluctant Gourmet (henceforth, RG) recipe uses all purpose flour and regular yeast, whereas the NYT uses bread flour and instant yeast. This required some shopping because what I normally have on hand for my no-knead bread is all-purpose flour and instant yeast – I think I may try the remaining bread flour in my next batch of bread. Also, the Reluctant Gourmet recipe notes ingredients by weight, whereas the NYT uses volume (cups, tablespoons etc). As an American cook I find the latter easier because it’s what I’m used to, but the latter is supposed to be more precise. It was kind of fun, using the tare function and measuring ingredients on my scale.

Also, the RG recipe lets the dough rise as dough in a bowl, whereas the NYT recipe has the rising after the pretzels are shaped (as does the recipe from the class I took).

So that I’d be able to tell them apart, I shaped the RG recipe Philadelphia-style (long oblongs) and the NYT batch in traditional Bavarian shape.

Results:
Reluctant Gourmet

New York Times

NYT all the way. Though I wouldn’t kick the Reluctant Gourmet recipe out of bed for leaving pretzel crumbs! It was pretty good and would not garner complaints on a Philly pretzel cart, but the NYT recipe had just perfect texture and complex taste.

Adding the malt syrup later to the NYT batch doesn’t seem to have caused any issues – they rose just fine.

For some reason, 3 of the RG batch came out pale, as though they hadn’t been dipped in lye solution, even though I’m sure I dipped all of them. It still tasted like a pretzel, though – without the alkalizing bath, what you get is more like regular bread (I experimented on one of the batch from my class).

Conclusion and Lessons Learned:
The overnight rising for the NYT batch may have helped. I will be curious to try the NYT recipe again and see if adding the malt at the proper time makes any difference. (Who knows, maybe I’ve discovered something!)

Malt syrup is difficult to work with. I wish they’d packaged it in a squeeze bottle, like honey often has now, instead of a jar with a lid. It did help the taste and I may experiment with adding some to my bread.

One other important thing I learnersd is, do not make a batch of pretzels on Friday night after work! The problem with this is that lye is not a chemical you want to play around with. Even though it’s probably not a strong enough solution to do real harm, I wore rubber gloves and was careful with the solution. But between the active time and the rising time, it takes quite a while until you get to that part. This results in an unconscionably long delay before you can have a well-deserved glass of wine at the end of a long work week.

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plotbunny astray

eird thing happened to me in the shower this morning (not for the first time): I got hit by a plotbunny meant for someone else. Even if I were going to write a fiction book, this wouldn’t be a book I’d want to write and it probably wouldn’t be a book I’d read – but I think lots of other people would like it.

It would be called “The Younger Sons”, from the Robert Service poem, and would basically be competence porn about a bunch of childhood friends, English younger sons who didn’t inherit and left to do other things. There would be multiple story lines, each centered on a different person: one not unlike Kipling’s Stalky and Kim, who lives in the shadows of Her Majesty’s rule over India, helping things go well in his small part of it by working together with and respecting the locals. There would be one in the Klondike Gold Rush; I think he’d be a bartender or supplier to the miners rather than a miner himself, because that was the way for sane steady men to get rich, but I think he’d end up involved in a lot of adventures and rescues that didn’t get talked about much. Others might settle in South America or Australia; maybe one would be a diplomat in the mold of Peter Wimsey. They’d all be quiet doers, who would get stuff done without much in the way of resources, and most people wouldn’t notice them because they’d prevent calamities rather than getting there too late and doing more visible metaphorical firefighting. I’m not sure how to link the storylines; maybe it could be epistolary (though you’d need to include letters from others besides the main characters, since they’d tend to minimize their own doings) or maybe the diplomat could travel enough to provide a link.

You can tell I haven’t thought this out thoroughly, but I can already see a number of issues with it. The smaller challenge is making the historical timeline come out correctly: Kim was published in 1901 and Stalky & Co in 1899; presumably their adult adventures at the end of each book were supposed to be more or less contemporary with publication. The Klondike Gold Rush was 1896-99, so that works out, but Peter Wimsey was practicing his diplomacy in the 1930s; you’d need an older generation version of him. The bigger issues, though, is that this could become a very masculine book and the challenge would be to keep it from being a complete sausage fest. Still, there were women who Did Things at the time; I recently came across the photographer Frances Benjamin Johnston, for one; there could be a Younger Daughter modeled on her, or on another photographer she collaborated with (who was born in England, in fact), Zaida Ben Yusuf. Or on Isabella Bird. The other challenge, especially after the writer immersed herself in the amount of history and fiction of that time that she’d need as research, would be to keep it from being yet another encomium of the jolly old British Empire, never mind those poor brown fellahs starving over there, they’re jolly grateful really.

Still, Kim and Stalky managed to avoid thinking that way to a surprising extent, given they were born into it. So it should be possible, right? Anyway, clearly this plotbunny wasn’t meant for me – I can’t imagine wanting to write a book I don’t wish I could read – so I’m writing it down to release it back into the wild, in hopes it finds its person.

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a funny thing just happened

I’ve just reread A Wrinkle in Time, and it’s actually changed my thinking about the movie (which I have not seen yet). As important and fundamental as that book was to me as a child whose brain was built by books, and as heretical as it sounds, AWiT is about due for an update.

For one thing, the whole beginning of the book, where Meg and Charles meet Calvin, struck me as way too abrupt. This might be partly just because it’s written for who I was at 9 when I first read it rather than who I am at 51, but I think some of it is also because the slang and feel of its time would have made the relationship feel more real to its original readers. These days, “you’ve got dreamboat eyes” isn’t a line that would make a character feel more solid and trustworthy. Maybe I’m just old and cynical, but the whole bit where Calvin says “for the first time in my life I feel like I’m going home” just feels way too rushed – I need more time there for empathy to build. On the other hand, the relationship Charles Wallace has with the Mrs Ws feels more real to me – he’s only supposed to be about 5, after all, and he may not be much like a typical 5yo but he’s not emotionally mature either.

But what feels mosted dated to me is Camazotz as the instantiation of evil. The fight against the Dark is eternal and it’s in all the best children’s books, from Little Women to AWiT to The Dark is Rising to Harry Potter and on up, but the depiction of evil as onventionality feels very mid-century to me. It’s in The Screwtape Letters (published 1942) but I think it shows up most strongly
in the 1950s and early 1960s, when L’Engle was writing AWiT. It’s what Malvina Reylnolds excoriated in “Little Boxes”; it’s what the entire counterculture movement was rebelling against. In that period it shows even in writers as mainstream as Rosamund Du Jardin (I’m thinking of some passages in her Pam and Penny series). And thus we have Camazotz, where everyone is alike because they have surrendered their individuality. Lengle herself said, in her Newberry accenptance speech, “There are forces working in the world as never before in the history of mankind for standardization, for the regimentation of us all, or what I like to call making muffins of us, muffins all like every other mufifn in the muffin tin.”

I don’t believe that is the scariest shape of evil in the world today. Sure, they’d like to establish some kinds of people as the dafault, the main important type the world should revolve around, but they’re not trying to make everyone else fit in that mold; they’re just trying to ignore everyone else. But if you liten to what the spouters of hate are saying today, they aren’t preaching conventionality and the status quo even while claiming to want to MAGA; they’re more likely to proclaim themselves as rebels and brave fighters against the groopthink that keeps insisting with such (they claim) boring conventionality that all people are valuable and that our differences should be not only tolerated but celebrated.

The battle against the Dark is eternal, but its manifestations change over time. The one constant may be its use of Despair as a weapon: the idea that the world is so terrible that resistance is futile, change is impossible, and the battle not worth fighting. But it *is* worth fighting. In every age we can see it as a continuing battle or a new beginning, but we don’t have to win it; as Rabbi Tarfon said, we don’t have to finish the work of perfecting the world. We only have to keep the fight going (I am writing this as hundreds of thousands of American children are walking out of their schools, fighting their own part of the greater battle, and I am cheering them on in spirit.) In the light of a changing battle, an update of AWiT seems most appropriate. I’m sure Camazotz will still be a bastion of convention in keeping with the book, but after rereading the book, I am thinking that maybe a biracial Meg and more diverse Mrs Ws (whose outer forms were only ever a disguise anyway) is exactly what we need.

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